When A Man Loves A Woman
by xNe-Rdx
Summary: The Gboys are at a Winner mansion just wasting time after the war. But someone drops in to waste time with them! Who is it? Read to find out! Trating to be safe,language,antiRelena,mild Relena humor.


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\\generator Msftedit 5.41.15.1503;\viewkind4\uc1\pard\f0\fs24 "Man, come ON, Heero! How long's it gotta take, all day?" screams the young, long-haired pilot, Duo, as he flicks his shaggy brown bangs off to one side impatiently.\par "Keep rushing me, Duo, and I'll shoot you..." Heero waited for Duo to retaliate before adding slyly, "...in your sleep." \par "Bring it, you psychotic-maniac! I can take you on anyday! Just name a time and a place, and I'll--" Duo's sentence is cut off by Heero's wet towel slapping his butt. "Hey! That's not yours! It's already attached to me, and--OW! Heero!" Again, Duo's sentence is cut off by the wild-haired boy's towel attacking his butt. Duo turns around to tackle his attacker's wielder, when Duo just so happens to notice..."Hey, why didn't you tell me you were naked under there? I wouldn't have been so rash, knowing that was the only thing covering you up!"\par "Well, normally, when one is in the shower, they are naked, and upon getting out, they are STILL naked, and upon being in the shower, where it is wet, the person themselves is also wet, so, therefor, they need a--" Heero indicates to his grey towel before continuing. "towel. You know," he shrugs. "to dry off?"\par "Smart ass." The long-haired pilot mumbles. He walks to the staircase railing and, lining up with it, jumps on it and slides down. He lands, almost cat-like, on the first floor, and walks over to an overstuffed maroon chair, where a blonde-haired boy, owner of the mansion they're all in, is sitting quietly while sipping from a slightly cracked teacup, and listening to the news on a small radio. He seems to be in a state of deep concentration. Meanwhile, upstairs, a now towel clad Heero retreats to his room, where hard rock music can be heard booming through the walls. \par "Yo, Quat. What 'cha--"\par "Shh!" The blonde-haired boy cut Duo off. The violet-eyed pilot was starting to get annoyed. What was with all these people cutting him off today?\par "Look man, I was just asking wha--"\par "SHH!" Quatre snapped his head around and hissed in Duo's face before quickly turning back to continue listening to the news. "It's already hard to hear over Heero's music, geez..." \par Duo was never the kind to poke around in someone's business, much less bug them about what they were doing...but Duo had been cut off too many times today, and he was getting tired of it.\par "Quatre Raberba Winner." The blonde-haired pilot cringes at the sound of his middle name, but presses on with listening to the little radio. "I KNOW you hear me, Quat. How can you not? I'm as loud as a friggin' FREIGHT TRAIN, over here, man!" Quatre sighs. Duo was right. He IS loud sometimes...Hell, ALL the time.\par "What is it, Duo?" He asks with a touch of impatience in his usually soft voice. Duo beamed.\par "What 'cha doin'?"\par "That's it?" Quatre asks, exasperated. "'What 'cha doin'?'! That's ALL you had to ask me?"\par "Hmm...yup." Duo's smile stretches across his face. Quatre sighs deeply. He could never really stay mad at Duo when he threw that smile at him like that.\par "I'm listening to the news, Duo."\par "Why?" Duo asks innocently as he sits down on the arm of the chair beside Quatre. He throws his arms around the blue-green eyed pilot and squeezes affectionately. "You think OZ is gonna pop up outta nowhere, or something? The war's over, Quat. Has been for two years, now."\par "Hnn...Nevermind, Duo...Why don't you go see what Heero's doing?"\par "Good idea!" Duo kisses Quatre on one of the boy's pale cheeks before hopping up clumsily. He prances up the stairs and down the hall to Heero's bedroom door and knocks dantily on it three times. "Yo, 'Ro? You still naked?" Duo giggles to himself before barging in. "Crazy Jay-bird! I knew it!"\par "I'm not naked, Duo. I've got my shorts on. Blind son of a--No!"\par "Payback!" Duo jumps for Heero's waist and tackles him to the floor. With little resistence, Heero gives away, and crashes down with him. They fight in a tangle of arms, legs, and of course Duo's three foot braid, wrestling each other on Heero's dark-blue carpeted floor. They roll/still wrestling/out into the hallway/where they ran into the staircase railing, to the left and down the stairs, into the living room/Quatre paying them no mind/and all over until Heero shoves Duo, who was trying to kiss him in any place his lips could reach, off onto the floor on his head. Heero, with slight difficulty, gets up off the floor and heads back into his room, leaving Duo dazed on the floor, wondering where he had gone. Once the dazed and confused boy on the floor got his senses back, he shakily came to his feet and props himself against a wall. Heero comes out of his room with a green tank top on, blindingly white socks on his feet, and a pair of grotesque yellow snickers in his hand. Duo sees this and groans at the shoes.\par "Heero, you wear those, and you'll dirty up Trowa's clean floors!" He winks at Quatre, who is STILL intently listening to the small radio sitting on the coffee table with an air of self-importance etched in it's little dials. Quatre absent-mindedly picks up his somewhat disheveled teacup and sips from it. He has now entered his own little world of no war, peaceful, blowing desert sand, and thousands of chibi Trowas stoicly dancing around and about in his head. In clown uniform, of course.\par \i Probably drinking tea in that same cup right now, wherever he is...\i0 Duo thought. Suddenly, it hit him. This is the perfect oppurtunity! He just had to time it right...Of course! He could do it when Quatre is putting down his cup...It's all skill...and oppurtune timing, of course...\par Slowly, Duo sneaks up behind Quatre in his chair, and runs one long index finger up the back of the pale pilot's skinny neck. Quatre lets out a squeal of surprise, throwing his teacup in the air, and the next thing Duo realizes, there's a hot liquid running down his face, into his eyes and mouth, and dripping off his nose. He screams.\par "HOT! THERE'S TEA ON MY HEAD! HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT--" he continues to scream as he runs about the living room, not noticing Heero's gaping expression, or Quatre's declaration of apologies. He runs one more time around the living room, and then takes his shouting about hot tea on his head into the kitchen. He runs over the threshold, almost knocking down a tall boy with emerald eyes and a curtain of cinnamon-brown hair covering his right eye.\par Trowa sees steam rising off of Duo's head and looks down at the tin bucket full of cold soapy water in his hands. \i I've been waiting all day to do these floors...\i0 He looks back at Duo, who is now taking laps around the kitchen, and back at his bucket again. \i He looks like he's in pain...a lot of pain...wonder how long he'll last...?\i0 Trowa watches him a little longer, his head circling around with Duo as The Braided Wonder wizzes past again and again.\i Hell with it. I'll save the rascal.\i0 Trowa decides to sacrifice his fresh, clean water for his friend and lover. "Duo!"\par Duo skids to a halt upon hearing his name being called. He turns to face Trowa, who, with exceptional aim, throws the water on him.\par \par SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss...\par \par "..." Duo frowns. Steam continues to rise from his head as he glares with his soap-clouded violet eyes through a wet shield of hair at Trowa. "Thanks, Trowa." he says past the suds and water running down his face. He shakes his head from side to side, trying to make his bangs take their spiky form again.\par "Anytime, Duo." Trowa winked flirtatiously at Duo before going to fill the bucket again. Duo continued to shake, his braid flying everywhere and soapy water flinging onto everything. Heero walks into the room, blankly looking at Duo in his wet dog form.\par "Duo. If you can make fun of my shoes, then it's only fair that I get to make fun of your soppy wetness." He smiled. It was a cold and maniacal smile that made Duo shudder despite his wetness and the window to his left that is open above a sink full of dirty dishes. In front of these was another tall boy/though not as much as Trowa/with shoulder-length jet-black hair that was poking out in every direction from it's ponytail, which was usually pulled back painstakingly tight.\par "Hey, Wufei. Are you almost done with those dishes? It won't be much longer until Quatre will want to start supper." Trowa says, carrying the tin bucket, filled to the rim with purple bubbles and cloudy water, to one of the back rooms. The Chinese boy glares with burning black eyes at the back of Trowa's head as he walks away. \par "I would already be done if Garbage Disposal Duo over there didn't eat all the damn time..." Wufei says through gritted teeth as he turns back to his work. He gives several wisps of his hair a frustrated yet determined dismissal blow before returning to work, vigorously scrubbing and muttering curses in fluent Chinese and many other languages, while Heero helps a shivering Duo dry himself off.\par "Hey, isn't that the same towel you used? Crazy, it's still wet! That's not gonna--AHH!" Duo yelped as Heero rubs between his hips. "Heero, you stop that! Now is NOT the time to play with me when I'm cold and wet! Move to another spot, you lecherous mutant!"\par "Lecherous mutant?" Heero obediently moved down Duo's bony leg.\par "Hey, it's the only thing I could come up with while you were molesting m--AHHH!" Duo yelped again just as Heero decided that particular part of Duo just wasn't dry enough yet. When Heero was okay with Duo's dryness, he turned and walked to the bathroom to put the towel in the hamper. Duo followed him as far as the bathroom, and went all the way down the hall and turned at the last door on the right. He shut his door, intent on changing out of his soggy, wrinkly clothes.\par Just as Duo was buttoning his pants, a startled scream pierced the silence/except for Heero's booming radio, that is/and Duo listened as a very audible SQUELCH sound came after, which, he concluded, must've been Trowa's favorite green sponge. Whatever startled Trowa must've REALLY snuck up on him, because you didn't see Trowa just drop a lot of things, and his green sponge was one of them, along with his gun, favorite pair of green socks that Quatre got him one year for Christmas, his favorite pair of green boxers...basically anything green or from Quatre.\par "Trowa?" Duo opened his door and stuck his head out. He looked left and caught Quatre coming up the staircase, obviously concerned. "Trowa, is everything alright?" After Quatre came Wufei from the kitchen, who was rolling down his sleeves as he came up. Duo's gaze followed these two, and went back to the bathroom door/one room down/just as Heero was coming out, perplexed. Duo looked at Heero as if to say, "What's eating Trowa?" Heero shrugged minutely before motioning him to follow. Duo obeyed, pulling an electric blue shirt on over his head and tugging his braid out of the back of it.\par You can practically hear their feet coming to a complete stop as they enter Heero's room. Even the radio itself stopped without anybody touching it. Every single Gundam Pilot standing there is speechless as they register the scene:Trowa, standing barefooted in his red and black striped pajama pants/rolled up past his knees for convenient scrubbage/and white, long-sleeved button-up shirt/sleeves also rolled up, behind the half empty tin bucket, his favorite green sponge laying two feet away from his right foot where he dropped it, his beautiful, green cat-like eyes wide with shock as he's gaping at what is trying to get into the window over Heero's bed. It isn't the fact that Trowa is actually GAPING at something, regardless of how rare that sort of expression comes up on his face. What REALLY has all of their attention is the blonde-headed girl with corn-rolls and a St. Gabriel's uniform that was currently climbing through Heero's window!\par "RELENA?" Duo, Trowa, Wufei, and Quatre all said together in unison. At the sudden call of her name, Relena Darlian/Peacecraft...who cares? She's still annoying./falls onto Heero's bed, which is strewn with white socks and several tank tops identical to the ones Heero is wearing right now, she looks hopefully at the pack of four gaping boys and that one that's trying to escape in the back...\par "Heero!" The blonde-headed girl says, starry-eyed. She advances towards them, pulling twigs and leaves from her overly washed mop-of-a-head. "Oh, Heero! I've been looking for you everywhere! I even traced your sewer line all the way here, just so I could climb through your window and catch you while you were asleep...but I see now that I am a couple of hours late...Time sure does fly when your tramping through a sewer..."\par "That explains the smell!" Mumbles Duo into Wufei's ear. Quatre overhears, and the three pilots snigger quietly.\par "I was wondering why you didn't have any body guards pressing gats to our heads! You know, just in case we didn't give up Heero to you without resistance? Whoo!" Quatre waves a hand in front of his nose. "Now I don't blame them!" They continue to snigger, if not a little louder this time. Relena ignores them. \par Instead, she goes for Heero, who, just now, was trying to inch out of the door, while being hidden by The Laughing Trio and Trowa, who had by then returned to his militaristic stance while watching the whole thing in a stand-still. Relena pushes past Trowa/with some difficulty, since we ALL KNOW how much muscle he's got...mmm...,bringing him out of his world/which is full of bullet showers, lions, tigers, bears/oh my/and thousands of chibi Quatres that happily dance around his head. Naked, of course., and grabs Heero by the straps of his tank top and pulls him close to her ugly face, which is now even uglier when it's baring her twisted anger.\par "You-are-going-to-come-home-with-me. You-will-not-leave-until-you-confess-your-love-to-me. There-will-be-NO-resistance! YOU-WILL-NOT-LEAVE-MY-SIGHT!" Relena's normally dull eyes got even more wild with each word as she spoke. Heero wasn't phased.\par "Even if I wanted--to--Re--Relena," Heero coughs into her face. He doesn't even bother to cover his mouth or turn his head...like it would make a difference compared to her smell, anyway..."I wouldn't go very far with you anywhere unless you got a Dentist with a Doctrate to clean out that putrid sewer you call a mouth. Or at least an assassin...Of course, then your breath wouldn't be the only thing that smelled bad, now would it?" Heero smiled that same sick and twisted smile he gave Duo earlier as Relena's face went from demented shock to pure rage at his nerve to say such things. Why is it always so hard for the rich ones to accept the truth? No one likes her, she just needs to see that, right? What, you think Lady Une killed her dad? Hells no. She killed him. He just wanted it to LOOK that way. You know, less publicity, and no humiliation on the Peacecraft name...or Darlian...but, like i said, who cares?\par "Wh--why...H--Heero!"Relena stammered. "How could you--"\par But before she could say exactly how Heero could do something, a cascade of dirty-soapy water was pouring down over her greasy-blonde head. "I'm not much on finding out about your mouth, Relena. And I'm certainly not a Dentist with a Doctrate. I've no degree at all, for that matter. But I DO know that now you, at least, are a bit--" a cool voice says from behind the crazy-psycho-ex-Earth-Sphere-Ruler. Trowa smiles despite himself. "--cleaner. And that IS saying something, Relena, because this water itself was...quite dirty." Trowa's smile widens, and at this moment, it could've rivaled with Duo's in it's wideness, but not quite. \par Duo, Wufei and Quatre decide that suppressive giggling just won't cut it anymore. Even Heero and Trowa laughed out loud when Relena ran from the room crying loudly and slipping on her own wetness and almost flipping over the staircase railing trying to get away.\par "You-so-rock--Trowa!" Duo hiccup-gasped. Wufei, Quatre, and Duo were now having to hug each other for support from their laughter. The empty-bucket-armed Heavyarms pilot smiled slyly and went to retrieve his green sponge.\par "Trowa, you sure you should attempt to even TRY to clean this floor after that--" Wufei throws a glance at Heero who is doubled over from laughing. "--'lovely' visitor dropped us a visit?"\par "Oh, I'm not cleaning it. I'm sure Heero will want to remember this memorable moment for the rest of his life!"\par \par And to everyone's surprise, Trowa throws back his head to laugh, winks at Heero, and exits the room, humming "When A Man Loves a Woman".\par \par Fin X\f1\fs20\par 


End file.
